Adding family into your wedding

Hastings House Hotel Wedding on Salt Spring Island BC Canada. Photo by Coast & Kin Photography

So… you’re getting married. Congratulations!

Along with vows, outfits, and a cake decision, you’re also doing something else rather bold: inviting your families to gather in one place to celebrate your union.

Have they met before?
If yes—how did that go? Are we talking instant best friends, cordial but cautious, or polite smiles with a hint of unresolved tension? Well… nothing brings people together quite like a wedding invitation and an open bar.

Either way, it’s all normal, and we promise—we’ve seen it all.

Every family is beautifully unique, which means there’s no universal playbook. Your vendors can’t give meaningful advice until they understand the dynamics at play—but once we do, we’re on your team. Need someone to subtly protect your personal space? Or gently redirect emotions before they escalate? Consider us your emotional bodyguards in nice shoes.

While weddings are often described as “your perfect day” or “all about the couple,” they’re also about something bigger. You’re bringing together the people who shaped you—family and chosen family alike—to witness one of the most meaningful commitments of your life. That deserves a little intention.

Start with the Ceremony

The ceremony is a wonderful place to include family in ways that go beyond the traditional wedding party. Loved ones can serve as greeters, readers, flower bearers, or ring bearers—yes, even fully grown adults (highly encouraged, actually because it can be hilarious).

One of the most unforgettable moments we’ve witnessed? Flower grannies. Iconic. Joyful. Elite energy.

These roles aren’t just charming—they’re symbolic. They represent the support system standing behind your marriage. And if you’re blending families or officially joining two into one, consider a unity ritual: a sand ceremony, lighting candles together, a shared toast, a family vow, or even a signature drink that says, we’re in this together.

The Moments You Don’t Forget

One wedding moment still lives rent-free in our minds: guests reading the couple’s vows aloud, each person sharing a sentence or paragraph in an intimate setting. It was heartfelt, personal, and deeply moving.

Let’s just say… there may have been discreet eye-wiping. On a shirt. No regrets.

At the end of the day, including family doesn’t mean forcing tradition—it means choosing connection. And when it’s done thoughtfully (and with a sense of humor), it can turn a beautiful wedding into an unforgettable one.

Let’s Talk About the Hard Stuff First

Before we get to the meaningful moments and beautifully choreographed symbolism, it’s worth acknowledging the reality that often goes unspoken: not every family dynamic is simple. Some relationships are strained. Some are still healing. Some exist politely, with boundaries carefully—and intentionally—drawn.

Weddings have a way of amplifying emotions. Joy, nostalgia, grief, unresolved tension—it all shows up dressed for the occasion. And while love is the reason everyone is gathered, that doesn’t automatically mean harmony is guaranteed. This is not a failure of planning or intention; it’s simply human nature.

This is where honesty becomes an asset. Understanding your family dynamics allows your vendor team to support you in meaningful ways—whether that means thoughtful seating, carefully curated moments, or knowing when not to place certain people side by side “for tradition’s sake.” We don’t need details for the sake of curiosity; we need context so the day feels calm, supported, and emotionally safe for you.

There is also no obligation to include every family member in the same way—or at all. Inclusion should never come at the cost of your peace. A wedding is not a referendum on family relationships, nor is it a moment to resolve decades of complexity. It is a commitment ceremony, not group therapy.

Once the hard truths are named, everything else becomes easier. Intention replaces pressure. Thoughtfulness replaces obligation. And from there, the moments of connection—the real ones—have room to unfold naturally.

A Quiet Luxury: Photography That Holds the Day Together

A beautiful wedding is not defined by perfection—it’s defined by how it feels. As a wedding photographer, my role extends far beyond documenting what happens. It’s about awareness, restraint, and presence. About knowing when to step forward and when to disappear. About understanding that the most meaningful moments often unfold in between the planned ones.

Luxury, in this context, is not excess. It’s intention.

It’s reading the room before emotions crest. It’s recognizing when a moment needs privacy rather than an audience. It’s positioning myself so that nothing feels staged, rushed, or disrupted—while still preserving the honesty of the day.

When family dynamics are layered, I work quietly and respectfully within them. I photograph with sensitivity, never forcing moments that don’t feel natural and never amplifying tension for the sake of a shot. Instead, I focus on connection as it truly exists—capturing warmth where it’s present and honoring boundaries where they are needed.

This approach allows couples to remain fully present. You don’t need to manage your timeline, your guests, or the emotional temperature of the room.

That awareness becomes part of the service.